A letter to the men


He seemed so nice at the time.

I’m going to say it.

Men are no longer suitable for polite society.

In between exposing themselves,
Masturbating in public,
Formulating denials, justifications and qualifications,
Murdering innocent people with automatic weapons,
Grabbing pussy,
there’s just not enough time left to fit in real work like golf and smoking cigars anymore.

Before you say only a very few men do these despicable things, I’ll refer you to the recent tweet:

body[data-twttr-rendered=”true”] {background-color: transparent;}.twitter-tweet {margin: auto !important;}

function notifyResize(height) {height = height ? height : document.documentElement.offsetHeight; var resized = false; if (window.donkey && donkey.resize) {donkey.resize(height); resized = true;}if (parent && parent._resizeIframe) {var obj = {iframe: window.frameElement, height: height}; parent._resizeIframe(obj); resized = true;}if (window.location && window.location.hash === “#amp=1” && window.parent && window.parent.postMessage) {window.parent.postMessage({sentinel: “amp”, type: “embed-size”, height: height}, “*”);}if (window.webkit && window.webkit.messageHandlers && window.webkit.messageHandlers.resize) {window.webkit.messageHandlers.resize.postMessage(height); resized = true;}return resized;}twttr.events.bind(‘rendered’, function (event) {notifyResize();}); twttr.events.bind(‘resize’, function (event) {notifyResize();});if (parent && parent._resizeIframe) {var maxWidth = parseInt(window.frameElement.getAttribute(“width”)); if ( 500 < maxWidth) {window.frameElement.setAttribute("width", "500");}}

Luckily, only a few (hundred thousand) women retweeted it the first 36 hours.

Ask yourself that question. Ask your sisters, mothers, brothers, daughters and friends while you’re at it.

So men, you’ve had a good 8,000 years of power. It’s time to take a rest from all your hard work blustering and blaming and spend some time barefoot in the kitchen. I would say barefoot and pregnant, but wait, you can’t get pregnant. Don’t worry, women will still take care of bringing new life into the world. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.

It’s not your fault. It’s just biology. You can’t help it. You’re just too hormonal. It’s a chemical issue. You’re too delicate and sensitive to handle stressful work. It’s the way God intended. Just leave it to us. Don’t cry about it. We’ll take care of it. Could you just grab us a beer? And make sure it’s cold would ya?

Please come at me with all your outrage. I’m a woman, I handle fake outrage all day. So much that I don’t even notice it anymore.

Watch the Sopranos. Again. Go do it now.

How many women should there be? Nine.

Wondering what pain I’ve ever experienced? Exhibit A



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here