Every ski season I always get a good laugh seeing myself dressed in full garb.

Every ski season I always get a good laugh seeing myself dressed in full garb. Walking with Sasquatch strides with my ski boots on, I enter the bathroom and catch a mirrored glimpse of myself. How am I always covered with the most unflattering assortment of gear? Everyone else looks great and sporty, and then there is me with a sleeve coated with furniture stain. Do not worry, it is not a fresh spill. It’s hardened and acts as mini shield, like Wonder Woman’s bracelets, just on one arm though. I am a warrior of sorts.

I left the ladies room with my ski pants unbuttoned, not by accident. This was the fifth year wearing my sweet Burton pants purchased from a consignment shop for $8. They were a size too small, but that did not deter me from having to own these bad boys. This made me think about everything else on my body. My helmet! Oh my Gosh, here comes Thrifty Chapstick, I bought my helmet for $1 at a tag sale. Do I care about my skull? I really do, and all the free stickers on it show I care even more. Extra protection.

Fortunately I had a newer jacket on for this particular day. This upgrade looked like I bought it at the Olive Garden. Exactly, it doesn’t even begin to sound right, so you catch my drift. While packing it in the car I noticed it had another splotch on it, not furniture stain this time but something that resembled grease or maybe bouillon. When did I wear this to work on someone’s car? Was I cooking a big soup before the last snow storm? Ahh, the warm feeling of internal chuckles as I am reminded of my fashion realities one by one. But there’s always a prize associated with the clothes you haven’t worn in over a year. That special $10 bill in the pocket, or maybe an unopened hand warmer packet. No, not this time…in my unmarked coat I find a Carmex, ye old Classic Lip Balm. Not the flat dehydrated ones either. It had only been used maybe two other times, a pure gem. And with all the hustle and bustle to get the family suited up, it was the opposite of frozen, balmy and ready for application.

So off to Happy Hour. Oh dang, I have to ski first. This is why we eat shrimp* I thought, to get to the cocktail sauce. I have to remind myself of these things. Happy winter to all!

*This is just an analogy. Please know the author loves shrimp for all of its intended properties and taste. And, in addition, cocktail sauce must be made with a thrilling amount of horseradish or this analogy does not apply.